Greenville residents have longed used geographical neighborhoods to define people’s ways of life.
Think about the term “Augusta Road,” and a certain kind of local resident comes to mind. Same goes for Eastside. Or North Greenville. Or Travelers Rest. Or Whitehorse Road. Or Possum Kingdom. Ok, no one ever uses Possum Kingdom, but the picture of what we are writing about should be clear. These are terms us to define if a person is rich or poor, country or urban, new Greenville or old Greenville.
But Greenville is rapidly changing. We are now at a half a million people in the County and Greenville City is over 70,000. More people are coming. What will we look like in 2027? How many more people can we cram in? The bigger question is where will they live?
We at Complete PR have some ideas on where these people might go and what new phrases might be used to describe the new folks 10 years from now.
- So West Greenville: We wanted to call this group the Village People, but they are too hip and so beyond the irony that they would never survive under that name. Hence, So West Greenville, which will be the aging millennials living in the Village of West Greenville complaining about how the kids today don’t respect the amazing craftsmanship of Foxygen of how tough things were back in the day when there was only one coffee shop in the neighborhood. You can recognize them because they will be the people always talking about the Village and why you are uncool for not living there.
- Trail Blazers: Where do they live? We have no idea, but these are the people you will always see running, biking, powergliding and rollerblading up and down the Greenville Health System Swamp Rabbit Trail. They are perpetually perky and happy, and you hate them for that. They can be recognized because they will have no concept of any eatery, drinking establishment or public bathroom that is not with 200 yards of the trail. Thankfully, the Zorba will be within 200 of the trail by then so all is good.
- New Portland: This is a longshot, but we think that within 10 years South Carolina will legalize marijuana production. That will lead land speculators to come to Greenville to start growing their own herb in the vast stretches of north Greenville. This will lead to a certain vibe of freeness and harmony mixed with guys carrying heavy machines. You will spot them wearing birkenstocks in the middle of the winter along Highway 11. Don’t worry, Pumpkintown will remain Pumpkintown.
- ‘Pounders: Everyone wants to live near the Reedy River and downtown, but as prices go up that becomes less and less possible. A few of the river property-minded souls will meet some Trail Blazers and learn there is a lot of land on bluffs overlooking the Reedy that can be bought cheap. So they will buy lots and small houses and trailer parks out there, demolish them, and build-up McMansions. Heavily fortified McMansions. Ones with large walls and armed guards. They will live in compounds and become known as ‘Pounders to the rest of the population. They are good people. Nice people. They just now carry more guns then the guys out in New Portland, and you never really actually visit their house after dark.
- Permanent Vacationers: These people harken back to Greenville’s roots when Charlestonians would escape the suppressive heat and mosquitoes by living in summer homes in Greenville. While the Permanent Vacationers already have a foothold up here having bought downtown condos galore as second homes away from the lake, they will be their own voting block within 10 years. You will recognize them because they have no idea how to use “ya’ll” in a sentence. They also only talk about Top Five stuff.
If these groups scare, wait until see you who will be living here in 2037.
