Americans love laundry.
We love cheering for it. We love cheering the people who wear the laundry we like to wear. We love cheering the people who “do sports hard” in the laundry we cheer for. We get mad when the laundry doesn’t live up to our expectations. We get mad when the laundry does things we don’t like. We get mad when the laundry changes so that we have to buy more laundry.
There is nothing more American than cheering for laundry. Nothing brings us together more. Nothing divides us further. Nothing is more trivial than our love affair of laundry.
There was a time when laundry didn’t matter. It’s true. Hard to believe, but it’s true. But that was before America had 50 states. That was before Americans discovered flight. That was before Americans conquered space. They were the olden days. Long forgotten. No adults exist from that time.
But children who turned into adults do. And they will remember a time when they didn’t root for laundry. But children are the only ones who don’t root for the laundry. Somehow they believe that the laundry is alive with the spirit of them. That the laundry represents their hometown. Their college. Their ideals.
Children also believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the Great Pumpkin.
Adults don’t believe in those things. That is why they root for laundry. They know the players who wear the laundry will vanish. They know they will make heinous mistakes. They will be forgotten. But laundry can’t be forgotten.
The only problem with laundry is you have to fold it.
No one likes doing that.